Friday, June 26, 2009
A lil' romance.
How can I advertise on my blog that I'm married and then not blog about it?
I was just surfing some tunes on my iPod and came across "In My Life" by The Beatles, which was the song that my husband and I choose to open our wedding dance. It always stops me in my tracks when I hear it, and I think about how much I love my husband and being married to him.
I love being married. I know lots of people who don't think they'll ever get married, and well, each to their own I suppose. But here's a few reasons why I think marriage is awesome.
Food: My husband and I are both self-proclaimed foodies. We like cooking and more importantly, eating. We love hot food, sweet food, sour food, ethnic food, and comfort food. If it looks remotely edible, he'll eat it. I tend to hesitate a little more.
But more to the point, cooking together is a challenge - especially in a small kitchen, but it's also a great lesson in communication. If you don't pay attention to where the other person is, you might get burned, or slice your finger, and if you don't chat about what you feel like eating, a little too much Tabasco might slip into the frying pan and you end up drinking a litre of milk with your meal. We've (thankfully) never burnt one another or sliced any body parts, and we haven't yet had a bad meal together.... even if all the milk was gone after the Tabasco incident.
The other plus: if it's one person cooking, the other person does the dishes
Fun: I think my husband is an incredibly fun person. He actually once said to me "If it's not fun, it's not worth doing." This doesn't mean he spends his time playing games, never does housework, and life is a vacation. He's actually taught me that anything, including weeding the garden, doing the dishes, or house cleaning is what you make it. His philosophy is: If you believe it's going to suck, it will, so don't believe it.
He sees the beauty in work. This is something I'm coming to grips with myself. Many people work all week in order to spend their weekends having fun. My husband combines the two. He just loves his job. I think if everyone loved their work, the world would be a happier place.
This is more of a lesson I've learned through being married than a reason I love being married, but I suppose lessons learned could be the reason. This was a big one.
Fighting: I know. You're thinking "What? This is something you love about marriage? Masochist." But actually, I do see incredible value in fighting.
I must put a disclaimer on this however, and say that violence and the kind of fighting I'm talking about are two vastly different concepts.
It might help that my husband and I are both fairly confrontational. If something bothers me, I don't mince words, and neither does he. However, then the feelings get involved... and lets not even talk about those raging hormones that peak once a month. His sensitivity is one of the reasons I married him, but since I'm a fairly blunt person, sometimes the combination doesn't work very well, and I have always had a temper that's like a leaking gas tank... all it takes is a spark. My close friends and family don't enjoy being the subject of my wrath.
But one thing we've acknowledged is that feelings should be expressed, and if these feelings are so intense that a raised voice need be brought forth, so be it. Our fights are quick, sometimes loud, but they accomplish things. Two key ingredients to a good fight: we both admit when we're being unreasonable and we bite our tongues and let each other say our piece. Our altercations have brought forth results. For example, clothes get put in the laundry basket, not on the floor beside it (my bad), whomever has cleaned the bathroom last does not have to do it again the following time and the tea-leaves do not sit in the tea pot till they grow mould (it's gross, but my bad again).
Marriage hasn't always been easy. My suggestion for unmarried people who are seeking to be married is that if you want your life to be easy, don't get married. Then again, don't have any friends either.
As for me, I really hope that when I hear "In My Life" fifty years from now, I will still close my eyes and remember more good times than bad, all the great meals we cooked together, and all the lives that became a part of ours and made our memories worth having.