We are in the final stretch of pregnancy, and I'm experiencing some brain fog and some major clarity all at once... Can't remember why I opened a particular drawer, but I'll have some great revelation about trusting in God's timing that will totally blow my mind. A lot is going on, and yet, I'm sitting here waiting...
I must begin briefly on a sad note to call for prayers for a family who has experienced devastating loss. For a few weeks I have watched and waited as a family from my hometown searched for their son, who left his house on December 1 and disappeared. There was an extensive search done in the community, and it ended in tragedy when he was found dead. It was confirmed yesterday that he committed suicide.
Please lift up him and his family in prayer:
I can not apologize for this sad note. I was going to say something like, "Sorry to put a damper on your Christmas preparations," but I'm not sorry.
Sitting here, 9 months pregnant, there's not a lot I can do for this family but ask some praying families to lift them up - because right now, they are in desperate need of comfort. So please pray.
Things like the above have been on my mind. Things that make it hard for families to celebrate Christmas. My family lost my dad over 3 years ago when he was killed in a car collision. Christmas has been hard ever since, and I imagine it always will be.
The difficult Christmases we've experienced however, have reminded me that Christmas is not only about being with family, eating delicious food, giving presents and love and laughter. Sometimes we treat Christmas like an untouchable, untaintable experience that must, at all costs, be happy, happy, happy. But that's not the real Christmas.
Christmas is to celebrate the birth of Jesus. The very same Jesus who would die for us. The very same Jesus who would experience the reality of being a man. Christmas points to the reality of God's love and of His desire for us to join him in heaven. It reminds me that our life here is temporary - my dad's death brings that temporary state home for me. Christmas joy for me, now points to the joy that will be heaven. Heaven that became possible through us by the birth of Jesus. I suppose death - the reality of death - the REALNESS of humanity - mortality - has made the Christmas experience a little more poignant, but God's love all the more real.
I was honoured be asked to give a talk at a mom's group I regularly attend, relating my pregnancy to the experience of Advent. A friend of mine missed the talk, and asked that I turn it into a blog, so watch for it. I'll put it up in the next few days, you know, if I don't have a baby in the next few days. Babies are kind of a time-suck.
On Monday, I went to a little house concert performed by this lovely lady, Sarah Buckham. I love her voice and her style. I bought her CD (which I totally encourage you to do) and have not stopped listening to it since. It might even come with me to the birth of this babe.
It is 8 a.m and my kids are still sleeping. We attended an active birth class last night, and my mom watched the boys. She must have tired them out, because usually they're upstairs waking us up before 7. I've had time to have a coffee by myself and to actually have coherent thoughts.
It's baby-prep day. I need to do those little things, like make sure my hospital bag has my healthcare card and social insurance number in it, install the carseat (or get Joseph to do it, because well... my belly really makes it hard to hunch over in the minivan and fiddle with safety clips), get out the little clothes...
Snap! New train of thought... The little clothes! I look at them and I can't even believe my baby will be that small. I also reminisce about each of the boys wearing them when I brought them home from the hospital, and when I took them to greet the public for the first time, and when they pooped those horrible poops that somehow don't even marr a baby's cuteness one little bit, but nonetheless, scar you for life.
Here's some photos of them, each almost a week old.
|Carter, fresh from the hospital (after 5 days in NICU)|
I asked my sister what her favourite Christmas song is... she replied "O Holy Night," and I love it too.